Building the teacher-student relationship is the most important thing you will do as a classroom teacher. When I first started teaching, I did not know where to place my focus, and thankfully a fellow teacher caught my attention. I noticed her positivity and that students were drawn to her. I saw her writing individual notes home to students as part of a Thanksgiving activity. She told each of them why she was thankful for them. This was the moment I realized that getting to know the students was crucial to success in the classroom. I am so grateful I learned this early in my teaching career. Spending time with students as a whole group, small group, and individually are all ways to build relationships with them.
The COVID-19 pandemic negatively impacted education in many ways, and one of the most detrimental effects was losing contact with students. Face-to-face interaction is incomparable when it comes to teaching and learning. However, we live in a world where online learning is common and in every facet of education. Building relationships with students is even more important in online learning because students respond better to teachers they know and want to please. It is vital to include opportunities to see your students on screen and hear their voices. It is an automatic response in our brains that we connect when we see and hear others in-person or on screen.
How can Positive Relationships with Educators Impact Student Success?
Positive relationships with educators impacts student success in every way. The key to success and teaching being a rewarding profession is building and maintaining positive relationships with students. In addition to relationships with students, having a relationship with their parents is also valuable.
How Teachers can Create Appropriate Boundaries with Students
The challenge for a teacher to connect with students and build relationships starts with the grade level and development of the students the teacher is teaching. Teacher-student relationships start at the beginning of the school year when teachers create classroom culture boundaries that rely upon classroom procedures. Relationships within the classroom should not affect the teacher’s classroom management, but should enhance the level of respect the students and teacher have for one another, and strengthen the culture and make following classroom procedures simple.
Elementary teachers (K-5) must first create a safe environment in the classroom for a student-teacher relationship to blossom. In all elementary grades, teachers are developing a solid foundation for learning that flourishes when the students feel valued by the teacher. Elementary students and teachers can create handshakes or other forms of greeting that will enhance a relationship, making the relationship connection unique. The boundaries for relationships with elementary students can also include teachers witnessing and celebrating students’ out of school activities, attending a sports event, dance recital, or art show. The teacher should always check with the student’s parents to receive permission before attending an out of school event. Elementary student-teacher relationships are the first step toward how students develop future relationships with middle school teachers and beyond.
Middle school teachers develop relationships with students as mentors to guide the young adultescence to their potential. The teachers are similar to cheerleaders, encouraging the students to strive to always do the best work and to keep a watchful eye on the mental health of the students. Middle school sports and other various extracurricular activities can become a good vehicle for teachers and students to build relationships. Once again, the boundaries for these relationships is important, and a helpful tip would be for the teacher and student should never be alone together and try to include another adult or additional students in the mix.
Lastly, high school students rely upon teacher relationships for guidance and as role models. High schoolers end the four years as adults, and these students are seeking to witness behavior and actions by the adults they trust. High school students also need teacher relationships for positive encouragement to lead to a successful future. These relationships should be used by teachers for coachable opportunities with students. The boundaries for relationships between teachers and students at this level is crucial. As in all teacher-student relationships, parents should have direct communication with the teacher.
Ways to Build a Relationship with Your Students
Questionnaires/Interviews
Students at any age or grade level love to know they are valuable enough to get to know, and they enjoy someone listening to them. This takes time and effort from the teacher, but it is so worth it. Taking time for students individually is very rewarding. This includes talking to them about their lives, and spending time with them academically. Teacher questionnaires are one of the best ideas for initially getting to know your students. If the students are younger, then a teacher can conduct an interview with them. When students are being interviewed, their responses are sometimes funny and always beneficial.
Parent Essays
In elementary school classrooms, send an essay home for their parents to complete. This was an idea passed along to me, and the parents’ responses were very helpful. It was very interesting to read these, and neat to go back and reread at the end of the school year. Parents know their children better than anyone and can provide helpful insight in the classroom.
Daily Circle Time
One of the best ideas I have encountered in building teacher-student relationships is to have a daily circle time. This idea has been introduced from Restorative Practices trainings nationwide. Many students are impacted by trauma in our classrooms, and circle time creates a safe space for them. This idea can be adopted for any classroom with students in grades Pre-K-12 or even in meetings with adults. Circle time is when the class gathers in a circle at the very beginning of class and has a topic to discuss. This can be any topic and allows the students to get to know each other and the teacher to get to know their students better, creating space for relationship building. The teacher participates in circle time also.
In my classroom, this was one of their favorite things every day. A few examples of topics are:
- What is your favorite __ (insert anything here)?
- Would you rather __ (insert anything here)?
- Give someone a compliment sitting to your left or right.
It is amazing what the students say in these moments. Circle time takes a few minutes of your day and pays large dividends. An example for a middle or high school classroom would be to ask them about a topic they are studying or anything applicable to their age or grade level.
When setting up for this, younger students gather on a rug or other safe space in the classroom and conduct circle time. In a middle or high school classroom, students turn their desks toward each other in a circle formation. This allows for more intimate conversations. The testimonials from classrooms, including mine, are encouraging and exciting.
Building the teacher and student relationship is rewarding for teachers, students, and parents. Getting to know them in the classroom and beyond is why many teachers truly enjoy their professions.
Educators never stop learning; check out our available graduate degree programs to hone your skills and promote lifelong learning and academic excellence.
