The Importance of Teacher-Student Bonding
“No significant learning can occur without a significant relationship.” – James Comer
Increasing academic achievement is the conversation that drives discussions in schools and school districts around the world. It is so prevalent that pre-service teachers spend most of their classes learning and exploring strategies that will help our students grow academically. Strategies such as using content-based manipulatives, allowing greater opportunities for the students to verbally share, and small group instruction are some of the strategies that pre-service and practicing teachers spend a great deal of time perfecting in hopes of improving students’ academic outcome.
I would venture to say that all of the previously mentioned strategies are proven to be highly effective when implemented consistently and intentionally. However, when those strategies are implemented in congruence with a strong relationship between teacher and student, the impact on student achievement is even greater. Therefore, I take the same stance that is stated in the above quote. Building strong relationships between educators and students is one of the most powerful strategies for growing students beyond academics, socially and emotionally.
How to Build Trust With Students
In general, there must be a level of trust to move a person from one point to the next. The typical person must know that they can trust you in order to follow you. Consider teaching a baby to walk. We first teach babies to stand independently before coaxing them into taking steps. It is not until a baby feels confident that the person teaching them will be there to either catch them or soothe them after the fall that they will attempt to take a step. The students who enter our classrooms each day are just like babies; they need to know that they can trust the person who is teaching them for them to feel comfortable learning.
This comfort is developed through positive relationships between teachers and students. When there is a positive bond, the students are more apt to take academic risks that lead to improvement, they are more likely to attend school because they have a positive connection in the building, and they are less likely to cause major disruptions during instruction because of their loyalty to their teacher.
How to Get To Know Students on a Personal Level
For the most part, the bulk of all educators understand the importance of bonding with students; however, the stressors of the profession sometimes push the need to develop strong relationships with students to the recesses of our minds. In addition, knowing how to build trust and relationships with students who are not immediately receptive has some bearing on educator’s reluctance to remain tenacious in their attempts establish positive relationships with their students. I would argue that when educators allow anything to deter them from building strong student-teacher relations, more times than not, they are setting their students up to receive a subpar learning experience.
Be Authentic
The students who enter into our classrooms daily come from a variety of backgrounds. Some come from impoverished backgrounds, while others come from wealth, some come from minority households, others come from Caucasian homes, some homes are filled with hip hop while others blast country and rock. Regardless of the make-up of the class, for the most part, there is only one teacher who is comprised of their own experiences. While it is important to find connections with students, our learners prefer it when we are our authentic selves.
Young people are keen at discerning when adults are not “keeping it real.” Therefore, let the students know who you are and where you came from. Share your likes and dislikes with them. It is quite possible that you will not have anything in common with some of your students; however, if they find that they can trust you, they are more willing to build a positive relationship with you. Pretending for the sake of fitting in with them will cause the students to question your ability to be honest with them.
Show Compassion but Do Not Enable
While building relationships with students, it is important to show that you care. Ignoring a student’s circumstance or bringing too much attention can cause irrevocable damage to the relationship you are trying to establish. In terms of showing compassion by assisting in meeting your students’ basic needs, it is best to assist students in private or personal ways. For example, if you have students who are living in poverty and may not have the means to purchase supplies. Be careful in purchasing supplies and publicly giving it to them. Students are much more receptive when teachers practice discretion. It should appear that the student’s parents or guardian purchased the supplies.
On the other side of that coin, do not enable students to get out of fulfilling classroom expectations because of their circumstances. Find ways to help students meet expectations even if you feel as if they do not have the financial means or home support. Assignments should be designed so that every student, regardless of their background, can display success.
Be Present
Like adults, students value dependability. Showing up for your students shows them that you care. It reveals that you show up daily not just for your paycheck but because you have a desire to see them succeed. This goes beyond your physical location; it is to be mentally involved and aware of the students in which you teach and getting to know your students. Display your presence by asking about matters that are of importance to them. For example, if the students share information about their plans for the weekend, take a few minutes to allow them to provide details that they deem important. Also, show up physically for their events. It is a great source of pride for students to look up and see their teacher present and cheering for them. This indicates to them that your interest in their well-being stems beyond a good grade. It compasses their whole person.
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